im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
