You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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