Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
