i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
