I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
