you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
