you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
