I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Still dying that you shit outside
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
