marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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