He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
