You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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