Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize