We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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