marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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