walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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