The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
