You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
