Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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