i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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