If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
