i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
