Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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