I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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