You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
