hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize
