you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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