Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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