so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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