PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"