D3 body, D1 cock
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
