i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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this will be a night to untag.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..