fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.