Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call