i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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