I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
