is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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