are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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