He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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