he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
