Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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