This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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