Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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