hotel room ftw
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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