Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
