she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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