yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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