I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
