i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
