Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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