He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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