My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
