Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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