Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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