We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
