No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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