something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
