OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
