I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
