"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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