my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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