I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
