you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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