redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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