How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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