Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I need to stop coming to work sober
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
