just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
