please come you make the beer taste better
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
