i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
