Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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