Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
