What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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