I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
